When I thought about the men I knew who wouldn’t be averse to hooking up if I decided I wasn’t as straight as I’d imagined myself to be, the thought of being with them did nothing for me.

I didn’t want to find out what it felt like to fuck just any man—surely if that was all this was I would have gotten it out of my system long ago—I wanted to find out how Emilio felt. I wanted to spend time with him, to learn more about him, to figure out how his brain worked, to watch him as he broke into security systems and—