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Archive for the ‘sweet treats’ Category

Holiday Recipe Extravaganza – Selena Illyria

Dec 13, 2011 Filed under: guest blogger, holiday, Holiday Recipe Extravaganza, paranormal, sweet treats

Happy Holidays!

Thank you to Silvia Violet for allowing me to take part in this fun event. I bring to you one of my favorite recipes of the season. (Warning: This is very addictive). I got this recipe from my mom and love to make it myself.

Pecan Roll Recipe
½ Pound Butter
6 Tablespoons Confectionary Sugar (10X)
2 Cups All-Purpose Flour
2 Cups Pecans- Chopped Fine
1 teaspoon Vanilla
1 Tablespoon Cold Water

Cream butter and sugar together. Add the rest and mix.
Take a teaspoon of batter and shape like a date.
Put on ungreased cookie sheet.
Bake at 250 for 4-60 minutes until golden brown.
Makes approximately 60 cookies.
Store in Tupperware or cookie tines. I use wax paper between rows.
Roll in confectionary sugar before serving. (Optional) Or you can melt chocolate and drizzle over cookies and then serve.
Recipe can be doubled.

I know I have to include these cookies in a book. I really do. Instead for my Christmas story, I fixated on chocolate cupcake with mint and white chocolate ganache filling and vanilla-mint icing.

White Hot Christmas: Holiday Paws by Selena Illyria

After dealing with the flu and missing her flight to spend the holidays with her family, Nessa thought she’d be alone for Christmas. When her mate Ben shows up at her door with the intention of giving her a holiday she won’t soon forget, she knows this Christmas will definitely be the best yet.


She was going to focus on them, and what it meant to be a mated couple.

First, they would connect physically and then talk. She felt they needed to get the sex out the way before any progress could be made. Talking wouldn’t have any effect if they were both thinking about fucking or satisfying the need that had started an hour or so ago when Ben had shown up with cupcakes. They were a good start.

With a sigh, she dug a fork into the cupcake. “Perhaps it’s time I really show him that I’m committed to him, rather than the other way around,” she said to no one.

Finishing her cupcake, she took her mug of hot chocolate into her. When she entered she found it set up for romance; candles were lit and soft music playing. She found him in the bathroom with the water running in the shower.

“You shower and relax. I’ll go get my bag.” Not waiting for answer, he left her alone.

With nothing else to do but follow his direction, she stripped and got into the shower, allowing the water to run over her. She was thankful she’d gotten her hair straightened so there wouldn’t be a huge curly, tangled mess, and it would be very easy to dry.

The thought of Ben pampering her by drying her hair, sent liquid warmth through her belly. Ben always wanted to do things for her and pamper her in any way she would let him. He was her mate after all. Ben should be allowed to be involved in some of her more personal rituals and intimate moments — not all of them, but some.

The warm water sluiced over her body, chasing away some of the alcoholic haze and clearing her thoughts. She could say, in all honesty, that she appreciated him not taking advantage of her in her tipsy state. Even though she was very willing, it meant a lot that he wanted her in a clear state of mind when they did have sex again.

As she washed her body, ripples of heat slid along her skin. Desire flared hot, raising goose bumps. Moaning, she cupped her breasts and gave them a squeeze before moving to pinch and roll her thick nipples between her fingers. Electric shocks shot straight to her pussy. Her inner muscles quivered as the throbbing of her clit became more demanding.

She didn’t want to come by her own ministrations. Nessa wanted Ben’s hands her body and to feel him skin to skin. She wanted to feel the glide of his cock against the cleft of her ass, teasing her with his touch before he slid the shaft between her thighs to taunt the aching bundle of her nerves and then sink into her needy sheath.

Moaning, she slipped a hand between her legs and flicked her clit. She thrummed the bud over and over again, setting off sparks deep in her vagina. Rocking back on her heels, she rested her bottom against the wall and slid down the wall to sit in her tub.

Stroking and pinching her clit and massaging her breast, she brought herself closer to the edge while tingles raced along her legs and up and down her spine. Over and over again she brought herself to the edge but kept pulled back. Nessa wanted to wait for Ben.

A small creak of the door hinge alerted her to her mate’s arrival. A frisson of heat sliced down her spine to hum in her pussy. Her stomach muscles clenched as her heart pounded against her ribcage. Now she would get what she wanted. She was in a fog of desire and a need to connect with Ben physically.

Buy it here.

Learn more about Selena Illyria at her website, Facebook or Twitter.

Holiday Recipe Extravaganza – Sugar Cookies

Dec 11, 2011 Filed under: book release, contemporary, excerpts, holiday, Holiday Recipe Extravaganza, m/m, recipes, sweet treats Tags: , , ,

Today I’m celebrating the release of my Christmas story, One Kiss. When I decided to write a Christmas story back in the heat of summer, I knew I wanted to highlight the significance of family traditions. One thing I loved about Christmas as a child were all the holiday activities we did in the same way year after year. They were as comforting to me as a steaming mug of cocoa.

With that seed in my mind, Ben and Jake’s story began to take form. As I got to know Jake’s family, I gave them some of my own traditions, some plucked from the Christmas traditions of friends, and some I’d like to try to add into our already crazy holidays.

One thing I did every Christmas when I was a child was make sugar cookies with my grandma. We used a recipe that my great aunt, Leola, had given my grandma when my mom was young. The recipe, written in my great aunt’s scrawly handwriting on a small card, is still in use in my house today. It is simply titled Good Cookies.  Some years we dye the dough red and green as I usually did with my grandma and some years we leave it plain, but we always enjoy selecting the cookie cutters we want to use and decorating the cookies with lots of sprinkles.

Great Aunt Leola’s Good Cookies

1 cup butter

1.5 cups sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

3.5 cups flour

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

Preheat over to 350F. Cream butter and sugar until fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla. Mix until combined. Sift flour, baking powder, and salt together then add to butter mixture and stir until combined. Wrap dough in plastic wrap and chill for at least 3 hours. Then roll out dough, cut out cookies and bake until edges have a hint of brown, approximately 7 minutes. Cooking time will vary based on how thin you roll the dough.

One Kiss by Silvia Violet

Jake Sanders comes home for Christmas after a dreary semester filled with sleepless nights and a cheating boyfriend. Finding a new man is the last thing on his mind until he discovers that Ben Swinburne now owns the bakery where they both once worked.

Five years ago, Jake and Ben shared a single kiss, and Jake has never forgotten the way Ben’s lips felt against his. When Ben catches Jake under the mistletoe, passion ignites between them.

This time around, Ben wants more than one kiss, but Jake isn’t sure he’s ready for another relationship. Can Jake move past his pain and open his heart, or will he miss out on a second chance with the man of his dreams?


When I pulled into my parents’ driveway, I couldn’t help but smile at the crazy colored lights snaking along the roofline, outlining every window, and circling the porch columns. Strands of glittery reindeer lights covered the azaleas lining the front of the house, and bells tinkled in the breeze

My mom loved Christmas, and every year she sent my dad outside on the day after Thanksgiving with string after string of lights, admonishing him to cover every available space with them. I noted that this year, a bevy of penguins had joined the animatronic reindeer and polar bears on the lawn. I could imagine my dad shaking his head as he set them out. But making my mother happy made him happy. So no matter how much he grumbled about the decorations, he always did his best to turn our home into a winter wonderland.

It was good to be home. I’d been avoiding my family, using the excuse of my tough-as-hell vet school schedule, but really I’d been depressed ever since I got dumped by my cheating bastard of a boyfriend a few months ago. I wasn’t good company for anyone.

I grabbed my duffle bag and my laptop from the backseat and headed to the door smiling as one of the penguins greeted me with “Merry Christmas from Winterville”.

“Mom! I’m home!” I called as I pushed the door open.

“Jake!” She rushed from the kitchen wearing one of her Christmas aprons. This one was an appalling shade of green with little Santas all over it. She raced down the hall, and I gathered her up in a tight hug. Yep, it was good to be home.

I took a deep breath, drinking in the wonderful smells coming from the kitchen. “Chicken and dumplings?”

My mom smiled. “You know I always make your favorites when you come home.”

I gave her a kiss. “Thanks, Mom. Did you make chocolate cake too?”

She laughed. “That’s your sister’s treat, not that you won’t eat your share.”

“When will Lauren be here?” My sister and I had always been close and I regretted not calling her more in the last few months.

“Not for a few hours. Come on and put your things in your room.” My mom started up the stairs, and I followed, grinning at the greenery that circled the railing and imagining my dad complaining about the whole damn house smelling like a pine forest.

I slung my duffle bag on my old bed and set up my laptop as Mom chattered about old friends of mine who’d gotten married and former teachers who’d retired and other local tidbits. I was about to inquire about our plans for the next few days when she said, “You’ll never guess who bought Highland Bakery a few months ago.”

My heart sped up as it always did when I thought about the bakery. Remembering the years I’d worked there meant thinking about Ben, my high school crush. He was six years older than me, and he had refused to go out with me until I graduated. I’d counted the days waiting for my fantasies to come true. Then a few months before graduation he told me he’d finally saved up enough money for chef school. I was thrilled for him until I found out he’d be moving. We shared one amazing kiss that night. Just one kiss, but I’ve never forgotten the feel of his lips on mine.

“Marsha sold the place?” I asked as I untangled my laptop cord.

“I told you she was thinking about retiring.”

My heart beat even faster when I turned and saw that my mom had a look like she was up to something. “Who bought it?”

“Ben Swinburne.”

I had to force myself to swallow before I could respond. “Really?”

She smiled slyly. “Yes. He’d been working as a pastry chef at a restaurant in Atlanta, but he wanted his own place.”

I nodded. “He dreamed about that back when I knew him.” Lusted after him. Dreamed about him.

“You should go see him. You’ve got plenty of time before Lauren gets here.”

My heart pounded so hard I wondered if it could bruise my ribs. What was wrong with me? I hadn’t seen Ben in over five years, but the thought of him still made me feel like a confused eighteen-year-old. I hated myself for being such a fucking coward. I would have to face him sooner or later. I’d be home for over a week. No way would mom give up on the idea now. But I needed more time to prepare myself. “I don’t think so. I’d rather unpack, settle in.”

Mom frowned. “Are you sure? He’s made some renovations, and he’s very proud of the place. You should go see what he’s done. You were such good friends.”

Yep, she wasn’t going to let the idea go. “Another day maybe.”

Mom cocked her head to the side, studying me. That always meant trouble. “Were you more than friends?”‘

“Mom!” I groaned. “No.”

“Well, I think he’s a nice boy.” Boy? He would be nearly thirty now, and even in his early twenties Ben Swinburne had been no boy.

“Mom, are you trying to set me up?” I’m fortunate in my family’s acceptance of me. When I’d come out to them right before college my parents and sister had shown nothing but support. I shouldn’t resent my mom’s interference in my love life. She was only showing me the same consideration she gave my sister Lauren, but I really didn’t want to talk about guys with my mother.

Mom smiled, still looking devious. “Of course not. But Ben did ask about you.”

“He did?” My mom’s eyes twinkled. Damn, I sounded way too eager.

Buy it here.


Holiday Recipe Extravaganza – Triple Chocolate Cake

Dec 10, 2011 Filed under: bears, holiday, Holiday Recipe Extravaganza, m/m, men in uniform, paranormal, recipes, shapeshifter, sweet treats Tags: , , , , , ,

When I got married way back in 1996, a group of friends put together a cookbook for me of all their favorite recipes. I still use the cookbook regularly, and this recipe has probably been made more times than any other. This cake is sooooo crazy good – gooey, fudgy, and easy to make. If I need to quickly whip up a dessert to take somewhere this is what I make.

Triple Chocolate Cake

1 pkg Devil’s Food cake mix
1 pkg instant chocolate pudding
1 cup chocolate chips
8 oz sour cream
4 eggs
1/2c vegetable oil
1/2 c water

Stir cake mix and pudding mix together. Add other ingredients except chips. Stir until combined. Mix on high speed for 2 minutes. Sprinkle chocolate chips with flour (prevents them from sinking to bottom of pan as cake cooks) and mix them in on low speed. Pout into a bundt pan and bake according to cake box directions, but don’t expect the standard tooth pick test to work. This cake will still seem undercooked in the middle when it’s done.

I can just imagine Brandon from Paws on Me bringing this cake to a police department Christmas party, that is unless he gave Seth a taste of the batter and they never made it out of the house.

Protect and Serve: Paws on Me by Silvia Violet

Lieutenant Seth Morrison loves being a cop, but with budget cuts and crime both on the rise, he’s stopped making time for anything but his job.

On the outside, Brandon Lord is an easy-going, flirtatious club owner. On the inside he’s a man trying to overcome a difficult past.

When a murder investigation brings the two men together, passion roars to life. They’re both willing to break the rules to be together. Because as mismatched as they might seem, each man is exactly what the other needs.

“How’s your leg?” I mean to distract myself but as soon as I ask, I wish I hadn’t. I remember the feel of his thigh under my hand, hard muscles, soft flesh, coarse hair. So many textures to think about. Such a deep abiding need to lick and bite. Fuck. I can’t let him stay here.

“Better. By tomorrow I probably won’t feel much.”

“Good. I need to talk to you about the case. Maybe we should move to the living room.”

He looks so disappointed I almost change my mind, but I can’t let the longing in his eyes distract me. He sits up and swings his legs off the bed. The bandage catches on the sheet and rips loose, tearing away part of the scab and plenty of hair. “Shit!” he yells. Blood wells up and trickles down his leg.

Later, I can’t decide why I ran across the room. It wasn’t like he was going to bleed to death. Did my subconscious push me to make a move that would get us in bed together? Surely I understood where touching him again would lead. We reached for the bandage at the same time. My hand lay on his as we used pressure to stop the bleeding.

“That was dumb. I should have been more careful. I…” His words trail off. I look up. Our faces are inches apart. My heart pounds. I know how supremely stupid I would be to kiss him, but I can’t help it. His lips beg me to take a taste. I close the distance between us and swipe my tongue across his lips, savoring his woodsy flavor. “I need this,” I mumble against his lips.

“God, yes. So bad.” He opens his mouth, and we devour each other. I forget who I am, where I am. I forget that his leg is bleeding, and I’m supposed to be holding the bandage on. I sink to my knees between his legs and cup his face with my other hand, pulling him down so I can explore every inch of his mouth. I slide my tongue along his, growing more desperate for him every second. My hand tightens on his thigh, and he flinches, forcing me back to reality. I let go of him and sit back, breath coming in pants. “Fuck, this is so wrong.”

Brandon shakes his head and cups me under the chin, forcing me to look at him. “I don’t know if I’ve ever done anything this right.”

The intensity in his eyes scares me. I start to pull away. What am I doing? Wrecking everything I’ve worked for? I can’t fuck a man who’s involved in my case.

Brandon squeezes my arms, immobilizing me. “Stop thinking. Stop analyzing everything with that fucking cop’s brain. Just feel.”

I’m not used to being with anyone stronger than me. But I like the way he’s holding me, refusing to let me go. Having a man like him — young, hot, cool, seductive — wanting me goes to my head. He makes me forget all the rules, makes me let down barriers I’ve held in place my whole life. I can’t stop.

I kiss him again. My mouth is brutal in its assault. He could easily take control, but he opens to me, letting me have him my way. He tastes rich and smoky like a campfire, like fall. I suddenly want to do more than kiss and fuck him. I want to take him to my favorite restaurant, introduce him to the best coffee in the city, take him boating on the river. I want a fucking relationship.

The thought nearly frightens me into backing away, but he tastes and feels too damn good. I run my hands over his chest, enjoying the feel of his fur. I release his mouth and nibble his throat, his collarbone, his shoulder. I sink my teeth into one of his muscular pecs. He growls and pushes his hands into my hair, pressing my face against his chest. “More.”

I bite him again, harder this time, sucking at his flesh, wanting to mark him. He digs his fingers into my scalp, groaning and rubbing his body against mine. I circle his wrists with my hands as I lick at the bruise I made. He lets me pin his hands to the mattress and keep them there. I slide lower and rub my face against the thick hair covering the center of his chest, loving the feel of it brushing my face and catching in my beard. I take a deep breath of his musk.

Then I drop to my knees. “Don’t move.” I release his hands.

Buy it here.

Holiday Recipe Extravaganza – SJD Peterson

Dec 9, 2011 Filed under: guest blogger, holiday, Holiday Recipe Extravaganza, m/m, recipes, sweet treats Tags: , , , , , ,

Candy Cane Brownie Lollipops


1 package (18-21 oz.) fudge brownie mix (plus ingredients to make brownies)
24 candy canes
10 oz. chocolate-flavored almond bark
Additional decorations, such as red jimmies (optional)

Line sheet pan with a piece of parchment paper. Lightly spray with nonstick cooking spray and set aside. Prepare brownie mix according to package directions. Pour batter into pan. Bake 30 minutes, or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out with moist crumbs attached. Remove from oven to cooling rack, and cool for 20 minutes or until slightly warm.

Meanwhile, cut straight ends of candy canes off to form 4½-inch sticks. Place candy cane tops into resealable plastic bag, and crush into small pieces. Set aside.

Roll brownie into 24 smooth balls. You can use a coffee scoop or something like that to make them the same size. (I didn’t have a coffee scoop, so I just eyeballed it. As with my homemade candy canes, these are like snowflakes. Every one is different!) Then, insert candy cane sticks into centers of balls, mounding brownie around each stick.

Place almond bark into small bowl. Microwave according to package directions until smooth. (The microwave method didn’t work out so well for me, so I used the stove-top directions the second time around. Worked like a charm!) Spoon melted bark evenly over each ball, turning to coat completely.

Allow excess bark to drip off. Dip into reserved crushed candy canes or jimmies, and stand upright on a piece of parchment paper. Repeat with remaining almond bark, lollipops and crushed candy. Let stand until set.

You can place into miniature cupcake liners and wrap lollipops in cellophane, tie with ribbon and use as table décor, place cards, or take-home goodies for a special holiday touch. Yields 24 servings.

After eating the brownie, may I suggest enjoying the candy cane as much as Leon and Jase.

“He nearly fell over the edge when Leon suddenly produced a thick candy cane and began sucking it deep into his mouth, bringing it nearly all the way out, letting his tongue swirl around the edge before sucking it back between those lush lips.” from Leon
By SJD Peterson

After growing up poor in rural West Virginia, Jase McCoy doesn’t have a single good thought for Christmas… until he dreams of a mysterious stranger who follows him home and treats him to a night of magical passion designed to convince Jase of the joys possible in the holiday season.


In Jase McCoy’s opinion, there was only one thing worse
than New York City during rush hour: New York City
during rush hour on Christmas Eve. Not that anyone
would ask his opinion. If they did, he’d admit that the
subzero temperatures, the ugly mud and oil-slick snow, and
the extra padding each New Yorker wore, making the already
crowded walkways nearly impassable, were just minor
inconveniences. What Jase really hated about this time of
year was the sorry homeless-looking Santas with their
missing teeth, dirty natural beards, and the stench of cheap
booze that rolled off them—or worse, the leering, over-jolly
fat men who got their rocks off by groping children. The
constant noise of Christmas music, mixed with the
screeching and crying of children and added to the constant
blinking of multicolored lights—it was enough for Jase to
want to rip out his hair and gouge out his eyes from their
There wasn’t anything festive or jolly about this season.
He couldn’t bring to mind a single pleasant memory of
Christmases past. To him it wasn’t a goodwill or spreadcheer
time of year. More like, cuss, beg, go in debt, hate your
in-laws, spoil your brats, rush, fight lines, give-me-a fucking-
migraine time of year. The facts that the calls
coming into the complaint desk where he worked multiplied
by several numbers and the suicide rate went up
substantially during this time of year were proof that he
wasn’t the only one on the planet who hated Christmas.

Buy Leon here.

Holiday Recipe Extravaganza – Eric Arvin

Dec 8, 2011 Filed under: guest blogger, Holiday Recipe Extravaganza, m/m, recipes, sweet treats Tags: , , , , ,


1 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2/3 cup milk
1/4 tsp. salt
2 tbsp. corn syrup
2 tbsp. butter
1 tsp. vanilla

Mix first 5 ingredients. Cook until you can form a soft ball in a small amount of water but flattends when removed from water. Remove from heat and add butter. Cool mixture without stirring. Add vanilla, beat until thick.

To make chocolate fudge: use 2 cups white sugar and 1/3 cup cocoa (instead of brown sugar).

If you want a more peanut butter taste, instead of butter use 1/2 cup of peanut butter.

Woke Up in a Strange Place by Eric Arvin

Joe wakes up in a barley field with no clothes, no memories, and no idea how he got there. Before he knows it, he’s off on the last great journey of his life. With his soul guide Baker and a charge to have courage from a mysterious, alluring, and somehow familiar Stranger, Joe sets off through a fantastical changing landscape to confront his past.

The quest is not without challenges. Joe’s past is not always an easy thing to relive, but if he wants to find peace-and reunite with the Stranger he is so strongly drawn to-he must continue on until the end, no matter how tempted he is to stop along the way.



“I CAN see heaven,” Lou said. He was holding Joe, cradling him in his arms as they lay on the nighttime beach. They combated the crisp breeze with warm sweaters and a tight embrace. The sound of the water beating the rocks and the shore soothed them.

“You can see past the clouds?” Joe asked, playing along.

They had spent the month traveling the coast of New England—the Gay Grand Tour. They had rested at B&Bs that had been recommended along the way. Their golden retriever, Spooner, had been left with Joe’s mother. They missed him terribly but needed the time alone.

Things had been strained lately. They needed to focus on each other again. Joe’s position as a book editor—mostly tomes on mythology and folklore—had taken up a lot of time. And Lou’s mother was a bit of a menace.

“Absolutely, I can see it,” Lou replied. “Just up there. It’s not so far.” He pointed to a vacant patch in the sky. “It’s just past that star you can see shining through that cloud clearing.”

Joe laughed comfortably. “You’re a silly man, Lou,” he said, snuggling into Lou’s chest, smelling his cologne.

“What would you do if I died?” Lou asked. His voice took on a slightly more serious tone.

The question took Joe aback. He raised his head from Lou’s chest and looked him in the eye. “What kind of question…? We’re too young to be talking like that.”
“We’re not too young. I just turned thirty. People die every day.”

“Well, not us,” Joe replied bluntly. Granted, they hadn’t been taking terribly good care of themselves lately—lots of take-out and an expired gym membership—but talking about dying just seemed odd. Like an insurance commercial. “We’re together forever. I’d go crazy without you. Absolute bonkers.”

“You’ve got more courage than that. You would survive.”

Joe didn’t say anything, but he knew Lou was wrong. He couldn’t think of a world without him. Not anymore. Not after all he’d been through, all the disappointments and searching.

“Would you wait for me?” Joe asked quietly, his head resting again on Lou’s strong chest.


“In heaven. Beyond the clouds and the stars. Would you wait for me?”

“It wouldn’t be heaven without you. Of course I’d wait. I’ll always wait for you, Joseph. Waiting for you, the anticipation, it’s what drives me. You’re my life-force.”

Joe sighed, tears in his eyes. “Smooth talker. You always know just what clichés to use.”

“Go to sleep, baby,” Lou whispered. “I’ll be here in the morning.”

A Beautiful Place to Get Lost

VARIOUS echoes. That was all he heard until he opened his eyes.

With a last snap of his synapses like lightning charging back to heaven, Joe found himself in another place altogether. The stale argument of biology versus spirituality became moot. In the end, none of it mattered. One wonders why there needed to be a right or wrong answer at all. Joe realized then that love had only ever been about content, not form.

It was a repositioning, a new form of situating himself. He was lying on his back in a summer field of barley now. How he had gotten there, he had no idea. Maybe the sky had dropped him. However it happened, he was lucid. Everything still felt real. Still felt… tangible. Stalks surrounded him. In the afterlife, most people wake up in fields of gold. This has been so since death began because it’s what most humans know of peace, beauty, and ease. He knew the feel of the barley as it scratched his skin; he smelled the fragrance of summer as it blew past him, over him; he tasted the sweet humidity; and he hummed with the lulling sound of honey bees making love to nearby wildflowers. There was a perceptible heaviness to the smell of the breeze, though. Like a frost was soon to set in. A few of the stalks were dead and fallen.

There was no discomfort in the barley’s touch. It was a pleasant itch, like a tickle. In fact, there was a tickling sensation to everything, an almost untamable giddiness. He heard a giggle issue forth from his own being as he lay on the golden blanket, stretching his arms and legs out to their full extent.

He could remember nothing of before, our hero. The last vestiges of imagery had become sepia, like a dream, clouded around the edges. His memory was receding like the tide. This accounted for his lack of frantic anxiety, for his complete acceptance of an otherwise absurd situation. Only he existed in the barley, free of caustic worries. The few dead barley stalks were interesting but not worrisome.

Memory? What was memory? Me-mo-ree. A strange word. A distant concept. Laughable. Lacking in description. For all he understood, the whole ball of existence was set above and around him and had always been barley and gorgeous sky.

There was only one thing he was certain of, and that was simply because the thought had attached itself to him so fiercely, like a stubborn root digging deep into the soil. His name was Joe.

Joe. Was that it? Three letters? J-O-E. Three tiny symbols of some ancient script signifying an existence. There was more, right? There had to be more. There must be strength and vitality and vigor wrapped up in those letters somehow, for he was of the barley now, of the very same fortitude and determination. He felt it inside.

Joe (as he remembered his own name with some glee) lay staring at the sky. It was different than what he thought a sky should look like. Not a single solitary shade, but multi-layered, like a cake. Like sweet eats streaked and decorated with purples and pinks and oranges.

He lounged and gazed upward, feeling no need to move. There was no urgent call to stand and appropriate a functional demeanor. He felt only the impulse to melt or sink into earth or sky.

He was not alone where he lay but could sense curious rodents and lisping reptiles passing around him. Yet he felt no fear or repugnance at the thought of them. They were of the barley as well. Everything was one.

A wisp of some sweet redolence wafted over him as he relaxed hidden in the tall, thin stalks of golden grass. It was familiar, like an echo.

The sound of something wading through the barley raised Joe’s curiosity. He rose to his knees, peering over the tips of the stalks as they swayed lazily.

He saw a figure. Another someone moving steadily through the grain waves. The barley flowed around the form as it slowly approached.

Soon, it became clear to Joe that this new form was that of a young man. He possessed a slender face, a strong nose and brow, a cleft chin, and dark black hair that blew with the wind at his bare shoulders. He looked tired. His face was pale, and dark circles marred his worried eyes. Farther behind the Stranger (and even more curious), almost like an afterthought demanding to be seen, was a golden retriever that leaped high enough into the air to see above the gorgeous field, ears flopping and tongue hanging loosely.

Joe got to his feet and waited for the young man with a rush of excitement, though it was a mystery as to why. He ran his hand over the top of the barley that flourished hip-high around him, the tips tickling his tender flesh.

“You’re here,” the young Stranger said, looking quite breathless. A hint of expectation lay in his expression. It was as if he wanted to tell Joe something urgent. The muscles in his jaw flexed and striated. It was a lovely jaw, one that might have been carved from stone.

“I’m here,” Joe repeated. “But where’s here?” Joe’s eyes were wide, keenly observant. His peculiar feeling of intimacy with this mysterious man grew as the Stranger spoke. Joe felt a closeness, a need for this individual. Potent desire had now supplanted his previous complacency. His very breath quickened in this new presence and matched that of the Stranger’s own.

“Here’s where you’re supposed to be.” The man smiled with a shrug. His tired eyes were misty and full of emotion.

“That’s a stupid thing to say.” Joe grinned. “But it’s nice. It’s really nice here.” He looked around at the flowing field of gold and the ecstatic canine in the distance, if only to keep from staring so obviously at every tiny detail of the Stranger’s face. What lovely eyes!

“Well, it’s been waiting a while for you.” The Stranger couldn’t seem to take his sad eyes from Joe.

“I know you,” Joe said, drawing closer through the barley. He recognized that the Stranger was naked, but then, he realized, he was too. He hadn’t noticed this fact before but felt no disgrace in it now. “Who are you?” he queried softly.

“You’re right,” the man smiled with slight mischief. “You know me. You know me very well, Joseph.” He stared at Joe, swallowing a lump in his throat. Again, that look of urgency, of some tale to be told.

Without thinking, Joe put his hand to the Stranger’s chest. He felt as if it were an altogether natural thing to do. He felt the warmth of skin, but there was no rhythm beneath it. There was no beat or cadence in the toned chest. Joe gasped as a sudden maverick echo shocked him like a jolt of electricity. The chill of grief and loss rippled through him, and the image of a towering structure appeared in his mind, a lighthouse from a distant memory. It lasted only for a moment, passing quickly, but it made him draw his hand away. The Stranger grabbed it gently. A soft breeze sprinkled over them, birds in the cake-like sky, butterflies in the field just above the flaxen waves.

The Stranger smiled again. Nostalgia. His eyes brilliant blue hints of past joys. Memory.

“I know you… who are you?” Joe choked out, all at once very moved.

“I have to go now, Joe,” the Stranger said as he let go of Joe’s hand. “I just had to see for myself if it was true. And it is: you’re really here.” With teary-eyed reluctance, he turned and began walking away. He appeared not to see the dog that bounded ahead of him.

“Please!” Joe shouted. In that moment, he felt the odd sensation of something being torn from him, something deeply cherished. “Where am I? Can I come with you?” He began trampling through the barley toward the Stranger. More of the stalks looked haggard and frostbitten.

The Stranger turned with a smile, a tear traveling slowly down his face. “You will. But it takes time. You’ve got to remember it all first.”

Joe felt that want, that painful need to be with this young man.

“I will be there when it all comes back, Joe. But it has to come back slowly, like these waves of gold.”

“And you’ll be waiting?” Joe knew he sounded desperate. But his desperation did not feel baseless.

“As long as it takes. You know I will,” the Stranger said as he lifted his hand to wave. “Have courage. Great courage.”

The horizon very quickly changed to a deep violet and seemed to draw itself around the young man like wrapping paper. His lovely form became a silhouette and then vanished altogether into the darkening air as if he had not been there at all. The golden retriever disappeared as well, with a reverberating call for play. The Stranger’s leaving brought the dusk.

Joe stood bewildered and shaken. A dim light shone on the stalks about him from the sky’s devastating moonlight. He felt he would cry, like a child ripped from the comfort of loving arms. He questioned what to do, looking about at the darkened field that now began to glitter with tiny bugs. It seemed colder now. That frost was settling in.

He perceived a penetrating restlessness in his core, a surge of ambition to get underway so that he might be with the Stranger once again. After all, he had said he would be waiting. This was no time to wallow in the tragedy of things lost. This was a time to begin a search for answers. Joe could not remain in the field. He had to walk on. And though there was no trail or path that he might follow, he placed one foot in front of the other and began.

His journey was now underway.

As he made his way through the violet night, his grief faded and was assuaged by the serenity he had first known lying in the tall grass. The tips of barley again brushed and tickled his hands, groin, and thighs as he walked. Every step he took gave him hope, though he was more aware than ever of the dead stalks.

Off on the horizon and high above him, indeed all around him, he saw thousands of glittering lights of all colors blinking and winking their way across the sky. Some left exuberant streaks to show their passage in the night; others were almost imperceptible. It was a hypnotizing show, and it delighted him.

Once he had decided to start walking, tokens of past experiences came more easily to him. Remembrances in little droplets, like dew forming on a leaf. He remembered now his dislike for ketchup but his love of hamburgers; his favorite color, green; and his favorite time of day, dusk. All of these tiny personal accents collecting now like little dewdrops finding their ways to the center of the leaf. And as he peered into the night, his earliest memories came back to him.

HIS very first memory was that of standing in front of his mother’s full-length bedroom mirror in his diaper. The mirror had a crack in the lower right corner that probably needed to be fixed, but she liked it there. It added character and strength, she had said once. A Dusty Springfield song played on the clock radio on the nightstand beside his mother Veronica’s bed. The smell of lasagna wafted in from the small kitchen; it was almost dinnertime.

The image in the mirror returned his awakening gaze. He was coming to a new understanding about himself. Something—some indefinable thing—was different about him. It was something his fresh, new mind could not yet comprehend.

From there, memories were whispered to him pleasantly and with ticklish fervor by the grains. Not always linear, a stream of consciousness swam through him, brushing past the banks of his mind. Even the mundane occurrences of toddlerhood were nothing less than amazing experiences at the time: his first trip to the zoo; playing on a Slip ’n’ Slide on the lawn (how the grass irritated his legs, but he didn’t really seem to care); a boy named Peter who would become Joe’s first great friend; and the amazement at a fuzzy bee and the sting of its betrayal. All of these memories glided around him like spirits in the night air, as if memory was an entity in and of itself.

There was one thought, though, one floating vision on the current that Joe remembered with particular enchantment. He was walking hand in hand with his mother down the busy street of their small hometown. Traffic was never much of a problem there except for the one weekend in the year when a chautauqua of the arts came to town. Handmade loveliness and foods that were not available for much of the year could be purchased for far more than they were worth. As Joe walked, smiling up at the beautiful Veronica who peered down at him with love, he made a game of trying not to step on the myriad of cracks on the concrete walkway.

Soon they stopped walking long enough for Veronica to look at a few odd trinkets and arts and crafts at an outdoor boutique. Joe looked around him in search of anything that would render itself up to his excitable mind. Right next to him stood another little boy whose mother, a very thin-looking thing (Joe thought she looked a bit mean, like a witch), also regarded the trinkets and doodads. Joe watched the boy intently and felt an immediate draw to the blue of his friendly, playful eyes. He held a vanilla-and-chocolate- swirl ice cream cone (which happened to be Joe’s favorite as well) that dripped in messy streams down his hand and forearm and onto the summertime sidewalk. Ants were already marching to the sticky substance.

It seemed to Joe that this messy little blue-eyed boy wanted to say something—either grunt or make some other attempt at communication. Nothing came, though. Neither of them said anything. They just stared at one another until the mean-looking woman looked down at the blue-eyed boy to let him know it was time to go. Joe raised his hand to wave goodbye. (At that age, the world is a small place, and it’s completely believable that everyone can see everyone else again just around the next corner.)

The little stranger took in the greeting, and then, having no real idea what to do with it, stuck out his tongue—not necessarily a spiteful gesture; it was just the only thing that occurred to him to do. At least, that was how Joe chose to interpret it.

“Louis!” the mean old woman said as she jerked the little one away.

Joe only stared after the two as they walked off. He’d see him again. Joe knew it even then. It was a small world, after all.

Buy Woke Up in a Strange Place here.

Learn more about Eric Arvin at his blog.


Holiday Recipe Extravaganza – Xavier Axelson

Dec 7, 2011 Filed under: guest blogger, holiday, Holiday Recipe Extravaganza, m/m, recipes, sweet treats Tags: , , ,

Muffin Royalty By Xavier Axelson

Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly write ANY more about The Birches.  Here I am.  Believe me, I’m as shocked as you are.  Maybe I should and could talk about muffins instead.  It’s the holidays and what’s better than big breakfasts during the decking of halls, fa-la-la-laing and jingling your bells?  I can’t think of one single thing.  Muffins do play a part in The Birches.  They pop up, more than once.  There is the promise of blackberry muffins using the berries Dock picks from nearby bushes and assures Leo he will indeed show him how to make said muffins.  But, and come on, is there really a bigger star in breakfast breads than the blueberry muffin?

It’s breakfast royalty, plain and simple.

So I’ve decided to share my favorite recipe for blue-blueberry muffins I found online years ago and have made a million times since.  Now, as the recipe states, these really do turn a “shocking” blue color.  Don’t be scared.  We all know with every recipe there is a moment when you think, “Am I doing this right?”  Well, this is that moment.  Be brave, I promise you will endure.

The blueberry muffin really is something special when eaten on the East Coast.  They do something truly special to the muffin.  They throw it on the grill.  If you have ever had a grilled blueberry muffin, I salute and congratulate you.  You know exactly what I am talking about when I describe the transforming magic that occurs when muffin meets buttered grill.

If you haven’t well, it’s something to look forward to and you can certainly attempt it at home.  I trust you.  In the meantime, read The Birches, make these muffins, and eat til you turn blue.  Very simple, very good, very blue.

I got the recipe off food.com and the person who posted it said it’s from the The Blueberry Murder Mystery by Joanne Fluke.


crumb topping


  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
  2. Line muffin tin with paper liners.
  3. Melt butter.
  4. Mix sugar into melted butter and then add beaten eggs, baking powder and salt.
  5. Mix well.
  6. Place fresh/frozen blueberries in a bag with 1 tablespoon flour and toss until coated and set aside.
  7. Add 1 cup of flour and 1/4 cup of milk to sugar mixture.
  8. Mix well and then add last of flour and milk, again mixing well.
  9. Add blueberry pie filling (it will be blue).
  10. Fold in fresh/frozen blueberries.
  11. Fill muffin tins 3/4 way full and then set aside.
  12. -CrumbTopping- Mix flour and sugar together.
  13. Cut in butter and mix until crumbly.
  14. Place topping on top of muffins.
  15. Bake for 25-30 minutes.
  16. Cool on wire rack for 30 mins and then enjoy.

Read more here.


The Birches by Xavier Axelson


Perfection isn’t everything, although it’s everything Leo wants. His desire to become the perfect chef may keep him at the top of his class, but it drives his friends and family crazy while keeping love and passion on the back burner. That is until he meets Dock, owner and chef of the new and popular restaurant, The Birches. Although Dock isn’t a trained chef, Leo finds the food he cooks delectable and the man behind the food irresistible. The lessons taught at the hands of an untrained cook may be just what this uptight chef needs to let go.


He pulled into the parking lot of The Birches and sat on his bike a minute. He felt nervous, like he was about to meet a celebrity and the self-doubt that plagued him made him queasy.

“You gonna sit outside or come in?”

Leo jumped at the sound of the man’s voice. He pulled his helmet off and looked around, but didn’t see anyone.

“Over here.”

Leo looked just past his left shoulder and saw a man emerging from the nearby woods that surrounded the little restaurant.

“Oh, hey,” Leo called out, his voice cracking.

“You looking for something to eat?” the man asked, coming closer.

Leo was shocked to find himself riveted to the spot, staring at the man who came towards him.

The man offered Leo a rough, calloused hand. “I’m Dock,”

“Hey,” Leo managed weakly.

“I was out back, picking blackberries, they grow wild around here.  I thought they’d make a great dessert. Don’t know what kind of dessert, but how can you go wrong when you have stuff like this?” He said as he offered up a large, wooden bucket half-full of dark, purple black berries.

There were purple smears across Dock’s white tank top that seemed barely able to contain Dock’s impressive chest. There were several brown freckles on Dock’s shoulders, next to where the strap of tank top clung to his body.

“Lucky berries,” Leo said under his breath.


Sweat ran down Leo’s back, he felt so nervous. For a brief moment, he thought of hopping on his bike and taking off.  Instead he said, “Um, nothing, sorry, I just wanted to come by and–”

“You want to come inside and have an iced tea or something?” Dock asked, “It’s hot as hell out here and I know I need to cool off.” He swiped a hand across his face and left a smudge of blackberry juice across his cheek.

Leo’s heart was pounding, what was it about this place, this man?

“You coming?” Dock asked.


Dock laughed, “You coming inside or you just gonna stare at the ground the rest of the day?”

Leo was still staring at the spot where Dock had been standing.  Something was happening inside his head.  He felt spellbound and excited.  He didn’t know where this sensation came from, all he knew was he wanted more of what he was feeling.  He followed Dock, who was still talking about black berries, the sun and something else that sounded perfect, into the restaurant.  When Dock stopped suddenly by a booth at the back of the restaurant, Leo almost crashed into him.

“Take a seat. I’ll be right back with some tea.” Dock said, a smile lingered on his lips.

He knows he makes me uncomfortable, Leo thought once Dock left and was sitting down. It was this realization that held him glued to the seat.  He wouldn’t give this man the satisfaction of getting the better of him.

“So, what’s your name?” Dock asked when he reappeared and set a jam jar full of iced tea in front of Leo, there were several blackberries floating in it along with some ice and a sprig of mint.

“Leo,” he replied, taking a sip of the tea.

“You know we’re closed, right?” A woman’s voice called from behind Dock’s perfect shoulders. Leo decided right then and there he would trade his ability to beat an egg for a chance to touch those shoulders and kiss the freckles that lived there.

What was he thinking?

He wasn’t thinking, that was just it, there was something about the place and, more noticeably, about this man that seemed to block Leo’s ability to think rationally. Where there was once thought, there was now an incredible amount of feeling. He was stunned into a stupor by this realization.

Buy The Birches at Seventh Window or at Amazon.

Where to find Xavier Axelson:



The Examiner



Holiday Recipe Extravaganza – Nicole Dennis

Dec 4, 2011 Filed under: guest blogger, holiday, Holiday Recipe Extravaganza, m/m, recipes, sweet treats, web event

When He Came Home

By Nicole Dennis


Kicked out after graduation by his strict, abusive father, Blake Denton didn’t return home for fifteen years. Now a psychiatrist and counselor to the GLBT community, he found forgiveness and love with his long-time partner, Sullivan Fitzgerald, and a home in Vermont. A phone call to his mother to wish her happy holidays ends with a plea for a visit home. This time, with Sully’s support, they drive to the farm and spend Christmas with his family. Things have changed since he left. All of his younger siblings have married and are parents. His mother is standing on her own at the door. His father isn’t within the home, but the memories of years of abuse linger everywhere. Can it ruin the first Christmas Blake has with his family?

Excerpt (unedited):

Fifteen years had slid by since Blake Denton last drove this winding route. For some reason, this path off the country lane that led to the old-fashioned farmhouse seemed to have lengthened since that long-ago night. His knuckles whitened around the steering wheel, gripping it harder than needed to control the SUV. The tires hit a pothole the shock absorbers couldn’t quite handle.

“Holy crap, Blake! Isn’t this thing paved?” Sullivan Fitzgerald cursed and grabbed the oh shit bar on his side of the car.

“Never. Around a farm, they put money where it’s needed most.” Blake maneuvered around another pothole in the driveway. Rather, he maneuvered around the ones he could see under the layers of snow. “Around here, everyone has big-ass trucks and Jeeps to handle this kind of shit, or they’re on tractors, which roll over anything in their path. They probably don’t even know about them.”

Sully grumbled and flexed his fingers around the handle when the SUV rocked.

Blake glanced at his partner and lover. Peeling his fingers from the steering wheel, he reached down for Sully’s hand. Their fingers entwined. “I wouldn’t make this trip without your support, Sully.”

“Taking a step forward and driving down to backwater, small-town North Carolina to start over with your family,” Sully said.

“Does anyone know we’re coming?”

“Just my mother.”

“Did she tell anyone else?”

“I asked her not to, considering Dad’s reaction to when I left fifteen years ago.”

Buy it here.

For my recipe, an old favorite twisted into something new.

Hot Chocolate with Marshmallow on a Stick

Hot Chocolate Fudge Ingredients: (Time: 12 hrs to Overnight to SET)

**Can Cheat and use a box brownie mix – I recommend Ghiradelli Double Chocolate Brownies – if you prefer brownies to fudge.**

  • 1/2 c heavy cream
  • 14 ounce can sweetened condensed milk (1 1/4 c)
  • 3 c semisweet chocolate (3 c chopped chocolate bars or chips)
  • 3/4 c unsweetened baking chocolate (4 ounces)



  • 9×9 pan
  • Tinfoil
  • Heavy bottom saucepan
  • Rubber or silicone spatula
  • Whisk
  • Sharp knife to slice
  • Cutting board



  1. Line a 9×9 pan with foil and set aside.
  2. Combine cream and milk in a saucepan over medium heat. Heat until steaming, but not boiling, stirring occasionally to keep from scorching. (This is not the time to be wandering away, please.)
  3. Add all of the chocolate and remove from heat. Allow the chocolate to melt, undisturbed, for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, whisk firmly until it is thick and shiny.
  4. Use a spatula to spread the mixture out evenly in prepared pan. Allow to cool at room temperature 12 hours or overnight so that it firms slowly.
  5. Take fudge from the pan and remove the foil. Place on a cutting board. Using a knife heated with hot water and wiped dry, cut the fudge into 2” squares.


Homemade Marshmallows Ingredients: (Time: Up to 4 hours)

**Trust me, they’re easier than you think! If you must, then buy those new Square Marshmallows and use at least two for each Fudge square.**

  • Vegetable oil, for brushing
  • 4 envelopes unflavored gelatin (3 Tbsp plus 1 1/2 tsp)
  • 3 c granulated sugar
  • 1 1/4 c light corn syrup
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 2 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 1 1/2 c confectioners’ sugar



  • Candy thermometer **Must be one made for CANDY**
  • Electric mixer w/whisk attachment
  • 9×13 glass dish
  • Medium saucepan
  • Offset spatula
  • Large dinner plate
  • Parchment paper
  • Sharp knife to cut
  • Silicone brush for oil



  1. Brush glass dish with oil. Line with paper, allowing a 2” overhang on long sides. Brush paper with oil and set aside. **More oil the easier to remove the marshmallows at end**
  2. Put granulated sugar, syrup, salt, and 3/4 c water in pan. Bring to boil over high heat, stirring to dissolve sugar. Clip thermometer to side of pan. Cook, without stirring, until mixture registers 238 degrees on thermometer, about 9 minutes.
  3. Meanwhile, put 3/4 c cold water in bowl of mixer, sprinkle with gelatin. Soften 5 minutes.
  4. Attach bowl with gelatin to mixer, turn on low speed, beat hot syrup into mixture. Gradually raise speed to high, beat until very stiff about 12 minutes. Beat in vanilla. Pour into prepared dish, and smooth with offset spatula. Set aside, uncovered, until firm, about 3 hours.
  5. Sift 1 c confectioner’s sugar onto a work surface. Unmold marshmallow onto sugar, remove parchment. Brush knife and fingers with oil, then cut marshmallows into 2” squares. Sift remaining sugar on a plate, roll each marshmallow to coat all sides.
  6. They can be stored in airtight container up to 3 days


To assemble:

  • Long lollipop sticks
  • Colorful plastic wrap or plastic bags
  • Ribbon to tie


Place Fudge square on bottom and Marshmallow on top. You can decorate further with cocoa powder or broken candy canes, but I leave them alone. Poke the stick all the way through to bottom. Wrap with plastic wrap or place in bag and tie with the ribbon.


Find Nicole on the web:




Holiday Recipe Extravaganza – Lee Brazil and Havan Fellows

Dec 2, 2011 Filed under: book release, guest blogger, holiday, Holiday Recipe Extravaganza, m/m, recipes, sweet treats

*Knock-knock* Hey, Silvia! I hope you don’t mind, I brought Havan with me and we brought you a sampler basket!

*bounces in and kisses Silvia on both her perfect cheekboned cheeks* He won’t let me peek in the basket! Something about things going missing last time and him having to spend all night fixing it…*eye roll as I hip bump my muse and reach for basket*

 Yum! I love sampling and Havan is always welcome here 🙂

Christmas is cookies for me. My mom baked several kinds, but a few years back I encountered a lady who baked a dozen different kinds of cookies at the holiday season for give-away baskets, and she showed me how to do this. This particular cookie *points to chocolate caramel cookie about to disappear into Havan’s mouth* is one of my favorites.

*slips cookie back in basket and hangs head mumbling* it’s not my fault she taught you so well!

You see, these are so easy to make. They’re really just a throw together!

Chocolate Caramel Wafers

1 14 oz package of caramels
¼ cup evaporated milk
1 12 oz package of vanilla wafers
8 plain milk chocolate candy bars
chopped pecans

1. Place caramels and evaporated milk in a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave, uncovered, on high until melted (~ 2 minutes) Stir until smooth. Spread caramel over top of cookies. Place cookies on ungreased baking sheets.
2. Top each cookie with a chocolate square. Place in a 225 degree oven for 1-2 minutes or until the chocolate is melted. Spread with a knife. Sprinkle with pecans.

I guess I have cookie collections on the mind because Story Orgy has anthologies coming out this month.

Ooooh 2 Silvia…*bouncing and clapping hands*…we have 2 coming out this month!

Yay for more Story Orgy goodness!

A collection of stories, with something for everyone! Just like a cookie basket has something for everyone!

And this one is calling my name…it would be downright rude to ignore its plea, and Lee, you don’t like me being rude!  *giggles and snatches chocolate caramel cookie back from basket…takes a bite and sighs in bliss*

Today, Word Play, The Story Orgy’s new anthology from Breathless Pressreleases.

Here’s a look at what’s inside this collection!

Yay! I love previews! *cops a squat and snags another cookie…dragging Silvia and Lee down with me*

Havan Fellows
Harlan’s Ryde

Ryder made a mistake Harlan can’t forgive. Will Ryder cross a line no man should cross to obtain a second chance?

Ryder Halloway made a life changing decision about his relationship with Harlan when he was young and stupid. Thanks to one rash moment, he lost it all. He lost the only man he would ever love, his drive to even try to finish college and his zest for life.

Seven years later finds him in front of Harlan’s house preparing to take back what he lost with a vengeance. He’s prepared to use all the tricks in his arsenal to plow through every wall, protest and excuse Harlan might come up with.

Of course, he never expected Harlan to put him in the hospital …

Harlan Mychels had his heart broken in college by the popular Ryder. He learned his lesson about love and since then hasn’t allowed anyone even remotely close to his heart. Then one morning he turns and sees the one person able to tear his walls down and destroy what is left of it.

He uses every defensive tactic in his possession to keep Ryder at arm’s length, but Ryder is persistent. Harlan’s not sure if he can stay safe from heartache … and he starts wondering what the real heartache is – letting Ryder in again … or letting him go for good.
Em Woods
Harper’s Discovery

When Harper finally sees the light and dumps his cheating boyfriend, can Pitt convince Harper to trust him enough to let it all go?

When Harper Evans discovers his boyfriend in yet another bar with yet another Joe, he makes the final break and kicks him out. More relieved than heart-broke, Harper turns his attention to the letter burning a hole in his pocket that could mean a fresh start across the country.
Pitt Mullen has been looking for just such an opportunity and pounces on it – and Harper – when it shows up. But not everything is as it appears. When Pitt gets a late night call and rushes to another, will Harper understand or cut his ties before he listens to the truth?

Hank Edwards
Wicked Reflection

A sexy, bad boy neighbor, a handsome detective investigating an unsolved murder, and ghostly warnings help Kirk uncover the deadly secret within his new house.

Kirk Stanford’s realtor never mentioned certain features of his new home during the walk through, such as mysterious rooms and brutal secrets. All Kirk knows is he has a lot of unpacking to do and a handsome, bad boy neighbor seems to have taken an interest in him.

But then the warnings begin to appear, written in steam on the bathroom mirror. At first, Kirk dismisses the messages, but when a prowler attempts to break into his house, and a handsome private detective shows up asking questions about the murder, Kirk realizes how much danger he is in. He’s invested too much money in his new house to just walk away, so his only choice now is to figure out for himself who the murderer is and what he still wants out of his house.

Dark secrets come to light and Kirk is forced to put his trust in a supernatural presence as he fights to survive.
Lee Brazil
The Park at Sunrise

First they were three, now there are two.
Can Jason and Morgan make a relationship work without Paul?

For years the three of them had been inseparable, first as friends, then lovers. It’s been ten years since they parted for what was supposed to be a year apart to pursue their dreams. This isn’t the reunion they planned then. It’s nine years too late for one thing, and they are one man short for another.
In the years since Paul’s death, Morgan hasn’t exactly been waiting for Jason to reach out to him. He’s been too busy trying to forget, to move on. Until Jason sends the right message. Is the painting just an excuse to see his ex again?

JR Boyd
Off the Beaten Path

Best Friends and landscaping entrepreneurs, Mitch Sterling and Colby Merritt, enjoy their comradeship. Can scouting country roads for business opportunities unveil a lifetime of passion?

Best friends, Mitch Sterling and Colby Merritt have spent their whole lives together in a small town in the Hill Country of Texas. At twenty-four, the two entrepreneurs run a small landscaping company. Mitch works out in the field, leading the landscaping crews and getting his hands dirty. Colby uses his college education to handle the business aspect of the company from their office.

Outside work, the two can always be found together. A Saturday morning drive leads them to a dirt road that neither has ever traveled. With the help of a few beers, the hot Texas sun, and a secluded country pond, Mitch and Colby find themselves exploring new territory Off the Beaten Path.

To learn more about Lee and the rest of the Story Orgyists, check out Lee’s blog.

Holiday Recipe Extravaganza – JR Loveless

Nov 29, 2011 Filed under: contemporary, excerpts, guest blogger, holiday, Holiday Recipe Extravaganza, m/m, recipes, sweet treats Tags: , , , ,

Since I was a baby, my mother has always made pumpkin bread from a recipe she’s had since before I was born. Whenever I have it, it brings back memories of family, friends, and loved ones.  I wanted to share this amazing recipe with everyone along with an excerpt from my new upcoming Silver Publishing’s Dreaming of  a White Christmas release ‘White Rain’. Snow brings memories back for the main character, reminding him of the one person he loves more than anything. Enjoy a slice of the most amazing pumpkin bread while reading my newest release due out December 8th! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone!




Pumpkin Bread


1 tsp nutmeg

                  3 cups sugar

                  1 tsp cinnamon

                  4 eggs

                  1 cup oil

                  1 1/2 tsp salt


Mix the first six ingredients. Add the following in order:


                  1 cup canned pumpkin

                  2/3 cup water

                  2 tsp baking soda

                  3 cups flour


Pour into 2 greased and floured loaf pans or 3 (1lb) coffee cans. Bake at 350 degrees about 1 hour. Check with a toothpick, if it comes out clean, that means it’s done.




Silver Publishing’s Dreaming of a White Christmas ‘White Rain’


Brand has spent the last four Christmases without the one man he loves more than anything. After Kia left for college, everything changed. Can Brand forget Kia, or will Santa Claus bring him what he wants most for Christmas?


Kia stared at his best friend’s back in silence. He watched Brand’s muscles ripple beneath the dark gray shirt he wore. Brand looked even more beautiful than the last day he’d seen him. He still had a good six inches on him, but Brand’s body had filled out in all the right places. Amber haircut and combed neatly made Kia’s fingers itch to muss it all up, and it stung that he didn’t have the right to do it anymore. Not yet at least. The steel gray eyes he adored had seemed so cold as they’d studied him out on the front porch. Even now Brand refused to look at him.

Watching his friend setting a fire to crackle in the fireplace sent melancholy spiking through him. He’d missed Brand every single day, so much so it began to feel as though he couldn’t breathe, but he’d been determined to give Brand a reason to be proud to have him in his life.


Pain twisted his insides at how much he’d hurt Brand in his selfishness. It wasn’t until he’d spoken to Brand’s mother that he realized how much he had. She’d told him that Brand was  always alone and seemed so withdrawn from people after he’d left. The solemn facade had drawn him to Brand in the beginning. They’d met when they were thirteen; Brand kept to himself, either reading a book or staring into space. Regardless of the cold reception he received at first, Kia kept trying day after day to draw him out of his shell. It took time, but eventually he’d succeeded and Brand had opened up to him. It appeared that his desire to protect himself had only served to return Brand to the solitary person he’d once been. His throat felt dry as he searched for the words to explain why he’d stopped calling Brand, stopped writing or e-mailing him. How could he make him understand that he’d only done it because it hurt too much? Every time he’d talked to Brand on the phone, every letter or e-mail he’d read about his friend’s life, sent a knife straight into his heart. “I missed you, Bran,” he finally choked out around the lump in his throat.


Brand gave a cynical snort and turned hard eyes toward him. “Missed me, Kia? When? When you were too busy to come to the phone? Or maybe it was when you never returned my letters?”


Kia moved toward Brand only to stop as Brand took a step back. His heart sank even lower into his stomach, but he persisted in trying to make the one man he loved more than anything understand why he’d done what he had. The silence stretched out for long moments between them before he found what to say. He hugged himself as he started talking, staring anywhere except at Brand. “When I left for college, it was hard, Bran. So hard to be away from you. I wanted nothing more than to come home. But I couldn’t. I had to finish because I didn’t want to end up like my mom.”


Brand didn’t reply.


“I thought the more contact we had, the easier it would be. But it wasn’t. It was harder and made me miss you even more. So I selfishly started avoiding your calls and replying to your letters. At least, sending my replies to you. I wrote a letter every week telling you about school, work, and any little thing that came to mind but I never mailed them. I couldn’t.”


He had an entire bag filled with the letters he’d written Brand. One long letter every week for two years was a lot of letters. He’d planned on giving them to Brand when he returned and they were still in his suitcase out on the front porch. “I need you to understand, Bran. I wanted you to be able to be proud of me and have someone in your life worth knowing. Not someone who’d come from a poor family and has a weak mother with a bastard for a stepfather.”


“I didn’t care about that,” Brand said hoarsely, his hands clenched at his sides. When he looked up at Kia, Kia’s heart broke even further at the anguish in Brand’s eyes. “I needed you, Kia. You promised you’d never leave me.”


Kia took a tentative step forward, his heart lifting when Brand didn’t move away this time. He continued until he stood right in front of him. Brand’s dark amber hair seemed longer than he’d remembered it, and there were lines around his mouth and eyes that hadn’t been there before. He reached up to lightly trace those lines with the tip of one finger. “I didn’t leave you, Bran. You never left my mind, my thoughts. All I could think about was getting home to you. I’m sorry. I never realized how much it would hurt you.”


Brand’s lips twisted and he reached up, grabbing Kia’s wrist to stop his movements. But he didn’t push Kia’s hand away. He merely kept it in the loose manacle his fingers made. “Not hurt me, Kia? I…” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard.


“What, Bran?” Kia pushed closer until the fronts of their bodies rested against one another. “Talk to me. Please.”


It didn’t look like Brand would say anything at first. His mouth opened and shut several times but nothing came out. Kia’s face fell. He wondered if maybe Brand had moved on without him and no longer loved him. He’d known how Brand felt about him. He’d seen it in the way he looked at him, the way he would unconsciously move his body toward him when they talked or almost hovered over him protectively in large crowds. It had taken the knowledge of Brand’s feelings to make him realize he didn’t want Brand saddled with a high school graduate who would go nowhere in life.


A whisper of words left Brand’s lips, sending agony crashing over him like a tidal wave. “I loved you, Kia. You broke my heart when you left, when you stopped replying to my e-mails and returning my phone calls.”


Loved? Did Brand no longer love him? Kia’s eyes grew moist but he blinked back the tears. He knew he had no right to expect him to love him after he’d practically cut all ties with him. “I’m sorry, Bran,” Kia murmured. “I always intended on coming back. I could never leave you

for good because I’ve loved you almost from the moment I met you.”


Brand stiffened, his gaze snapping up to meet Kia’s in shock. Kia smiled softly, reaching to cup Brand’s cheek. “Why do you think it hurt so much to leave you and why I wanted to come back home so badly? I do love you, Bran. I always have and I always will. Can you forgive me and

allow me to earn back your love?”

Holiday Recipe Extravaganza – Deanna Wadsworth

Nov 28, 2011 Filed under: book release, excerpts, guest blogger, holiday, Holiday Recipe Extravaganza, recipes, sweet treats, web event Tags: , , , ,

Grandma Helen’s Chocolate Cake

This recipe is totally vegan!!

mix 1 1/2 cup flour, 1cup sugar, 1/3 cup baking cocoa, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1/2 teaspoon salt

add- 1 tablespoon vanilla, 1tablespoon cider vinegar, 1/2 cup oil, 1 cup water

put in greased 8×8 pan

375degrees 25-30 min.

Garnish with powdered sugar

This has been my favorite chocolate cake since I was a child. I hope you enjoy it as much as I always have.

And if you like chocolate….I have another way to get your chocolate fix!

Wouldn’t it be great if other things could taste like chocolate? Well, in my latest holiday story, Book One of THE NAUGHTY NORTH POLE– MS. CLAUS’S LIST, Ms. Claus gets a special kind of chocolate in the bedroom….and oh yes, I’m talking about what you think I am. Candy flavored cum! LOL

Stay tuned for Book Two PIP’S BOXING DAY WISH coming soon from Decadent Publishing!


Ms Claus’s List by Deanna Wadsworth


I am Ms. Claus.

Note the Ms. not the Mrs.?

Santa is my twin brother…not sure how the married rumor got started, eeew!…but he runs the North Pole except for that one most magical night of the year: Christmas Eve. When Santa is away, the elves will play. With me, if they’re lucky enough to be picked from my List.

Please, no nice elves need apply. Because I really want to find out how naughty you can be!


With a whistle, Nick shouted out, “Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer!”

Those weren’t the names of these particular reindeer, of course, but the call had become tradition. The elves and I joined in with the chant, too.

“Now, Prancer, and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!” Laughing, I looked down at Donna. Her face had flushed with excitement and cold.

Okay, I know it was cheesy, but hey. It was Christmas. If you couldn’t be cheesy at Christmas, when could you be?


Magic sparks in red, green, and silver blasted from the back end of the sleigh, the release of magic, which made it fly. Another resounding cheer went up. I had to wonder if it was just the excitement of a year’s hard work being done and the joy of Christmas, or the show about to go down tonight, which had everyone so worked up.

The reindeer started to run in place above the ground as if they were on a treadmill, their hooves gaining speed. They might be awful creatures, but the sight they made was spectacular.

Nick raised his right arm and dropped it.

“Merry Christmas to all!!!”

On that command, the snarling beasts lunged forward faster than I had ever seen a reindeer move. All shouts and well-wishes were lost in a loud explosion, like blast of hot air from a gasoline-drenched pile of wood ignited by a firecracker. A rush of heat blew my hair back and the sleigh, our grandmother’s modified magical chariot, rose in the air. The jingle of bells and cheers were lost in the power of the vehicle.

Then my brother and his sleigh disappeared in a flurry of sparkles and heat.

It took a moment for the oxygen to sneak back into my lungs and I patted my face to be sure my eyebrows hadn’t been singed off.

“Dramatic much?” Donna whispered.

I sniffed in agreement. “You know Nicky.”

The two elves manning the entrance pulled the levers back. The doors slowly closed. When the last cog locked into place, shutting out the cold air and the last sight of the sparking comet trail of the sleigh, the launch chamber fell silent.

All eyes went to me.

Donna stepped back, as did those nearby.

I did a slow, dramatic turn, clutching the front of my cloak. I smiled at all of my people, two forgotten races of elves who vowed to keep me and my brother company for all eternity.

I slowly strutted into the space Nick had recently vacated with his sleigh, hesitating before I spoke, to allow Donna ample time to maximize impact.

Stopping, I faced the largest collection of eager elves, all of them atwitter with anticipation. The light faces, the dark ones, the black eyes and the green, all locked on me, holding their breath in anticipation of my next words. Smiling at my people, I knew what they needed. Sure, Nick cared for all their needs, gave them a purpose with which to devote our eternity. But only I knew what they craved.

Then, very dramatically, I dropped my cloak, revealing the skin-tight, red velvet halter top and too-short mini. I raised my arms in the air and let out a delighted squeal, finishing up Nick’s cry—

“And to all a good night!”

Deanna Wadsworth lives in a small town in Ohio with the love of her life and three dogs. When she isn’t writing stories she likes to chill in her basement bar or hang out with her friends on her boat. You can find her at her blog and on Facebook and Goodreads

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